I posted this on an older anonymous blog I had for over a year, thought I’d reshare it for those who have never gotten to read it. It’s a funny story and it’s been updated since my last telling (for those who have read parts of it before).

This happened around March four and a half years ago. I was 26 at the time. I was home in Virginia for Spring Break and my boyfriend and I had only been dating for about two weeks at that time. One day while I was home I decided to do some shopping at the mall (because in Virginia there is little to do). When I came home my grandmother said there was a huge problem! A big box of flowers had come for me, but there was obviously a mistake as they were from someone named John (first time I’ve ever revealed his name!). The card read something along the lines of . . .

My brother was in the background trying not to laugh as my grandmother is telling me this was obviously a mistake. My grandmother had already been in contact with my mom. My mom thought there was a mix-up at the florist and we had somehow received someone else’s flowers. I looked at the box and sure enough it was addressed to me. I asked “Why did you open something for me?” My grandmother thought they were for her so she just opened them, but then she saw the card. I said “These are my flowers Grandma, they are for me!” I told her I was keeping them. She said well okay, but call your mom and tell her. So I called my mom up and she thought the same thing, someone had mixed things up and I had received flowers meant for someone else. I said the flowers were for me and we’d talk about it when she got home.

A few hours passed and my mom finally returned home from work. She asked about the flowers and if I wanted to talk about them. I said later after grandma went to bed.

A few more hours passed and as we were watching “Josie and the Pussiecats” my mom finally brought up the flowers. I said the flowers were for me. She asked “Are you gay?” I told her yes. She said “Okay, I just want you to be happy. I always though maybe you were, but all your friends are girls and they are all you ever talk about when you come home.” Well duh! All my best friend have always and till this day still are girls (women). She then asked about the guy I was seeing and if anyone else knew. I said my friends at school knew.

The next morning I had a talk with my brother. I told him that the flowers were for me. He said okay. I then said they were from a guy I’d been dating for a few weeks. I asked if he had any questions? He replied “No. It’s not like this is a huge shock or anything.” That was about it!

I did not and never did tell my grandmother. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell her. She was near the end of her life and in chronic pain from broken bones, cancer, etc. I just didn’t want to add emotional pain onto her. I was my grandma’s favorite, she told me so. That was a secret, hopefully cousins aren’t reading this blog! She met my boyfriend two times, but again I don’t know if she ever made the connection. I’m sure she figured it out, but in her condition the next day she probably would have forgotten. Likewise if I told her, she wouldn’t have remembered it the next day.

Two Christmas ago when my boyfriend was down he met my great-uncle, who is my mom’s age. We just refer to him as our uncle (a late in life child of my great-grandmother). He was the first person in my family outside of my mom and brother to learn I was gay and meet my boyfriend. He of course then told the rest of the family on my mom’s side, who all know now. I found this out when I was in the car with my mom, aunt and cousin one time and my aunt blurts out “So tell us about John!” Yeah I was like “ummmmmmmmmmm.” It was not expected, I had no idea they knew.

My dad has yet to be told. I’ve never been that close with him and my parents divorce when I was around 13. I also rarely see anyone on my dad’s side of the family given they live across the country and I am really not close with any of them. I’m sure my dad has figured it out. He actually called the house once to talk to me (my mom gave him the number, thanks mom). As I don’t give the home number to anyone, I don’t ever bother to answer the phone thinking it’s not for me. So imagine my shock when after my boyfriend’s normal answering machine message ends my DAD starts leaving a message! When I called him back he didn’t even ask about the guy on the answering machine. Oh well! Don’t ask don’t tell? I’m sure his computer savvy new wife has googled me and found this blog. Maybe not. Who knows.

Anyways, that is the story of how my boyfriend inadvertently outed me to my family.

Dustin