So last night started innocently enough as always. I was going to meet three friends (two were the same from the other night) for dinner. Of course my dancing buddy decided we had to go dancing because she wasn’t going to be around this weekend. Problem #1: I drove over and was planning not to drink so I could drive back. This wasn’t a huge deal, my car was parked in a secure garage. Unfortunately problem #2: My phone was dying and I didn’t have a cab list to get home if I stayed out late. I quickly copied the phone numbers that were fortunately still in my phone down onto a piece of paper, and I bought a phone card just in case. Since this was the third time I’d been out and my phone battery died on me I figured I should just get a phone card. Problem #3: It was Wednesday night, what the hell was open? All I knew was that our usual haunt was having all ages night, you know, 18 to party 21 to drink. We normally stay far far away from these places, but she really wanted to dance. I had been to it like three years ago and it was actually fun, the music was mainstream popular music and it was a good crowd. Unfortunately the fact that it was mainstreme music and all ages night should have been a red flag. More on that later.

After dinner we head back to my friends place for a bit to check a few other clubs out online. Goth night? NO. Karaoke Night? NO. We were stuck with all ages night. Unfortunately it was only 8pm and the club wouldn’t open till 10. We went shopping to kill time. My friend needed, well, she needed something that we won’t go into here. Shopping for it was fun though. She also wanted jeans, so we headed to the Gap. Oh My Gawd, $19.95, they were on sale! So I waited around while she picked out and tried on jeans. Throughout this there was another girl in the store trying on all sorts of jeans and asking everyone what they thought of this and that pair and how they looked on her and if they matched her sweater. I didn’t pay her too much attention honestly. Side note: why do girls take so long to try on clothes? Do you do aerobics in the dressing room to make sure they fit in every possible scenario? I put my jeans on, do a turn, and say “okay!” Anyways, as we were at the checkout the other girl came up behind us and asked us our opinion of her sweater, a turquoise turtle neck. Did it complement her? My friend said it did. As we left the story I said to my friend “Was that a man?” She said oh yes it was a man. I had thought so but wasn’t sure, but I knew she’d know. Sometimes it is so hard to tell!

So my friend decides she wants to put on her new pair of jeans, but at this time stores and everything are closing. We swing by the garage where I parked in, I said she could change in my car. She started getting naked right there in the garage! I said you could do this in the car, but she didn’t care about that and this was quicker. I said at least stand in between cars and not in the middle of the garage! (Note: she didn’t really get fully naked, but still!)

So we finally head to the club, the dance floor is DEAD. We hang out in the “Adult Bar” sipping Martinis and enjoying the classic 80’s videos while we sing and dance along. Suddenly three guys all target my friend, she’s such a boy magnet. However two of them were children, and the third was actually a nice guy who apparently frequents the club. He was our age and was glad to see someone else who knew the videos they were playing. Fortunately he just wanted to be our friends, not invite us back to his place for a menage-a-trios like the last guy who approached us here. So we hung out with him for awhile and then attempted to hit the dance floor. We weren’t impressed. This is where the point I made earlier about the music being mainstream music comes in. Today Philly’s market is completely geared towards hip hop, and that is what the kids like. That is what they were playing. We aren’t fans of hip hop, actually I hate it. It isn’t dance friendly as far as I’m concerned, and everyone in Philly dances to it by having simulated sex on the dance floor. Now I enjoy a little bit of dirty dancing, but if all your doing is dry humping all night long it gets boring. That ain’t dancing as far as I’m concerned. Let me tell you these kids were in lines of 4-5 people long just humping each other. It was like a hump train! I didn’t get it. What was even more hilarious is a lot of these kids had that wholesome suburb look to them. I think this was their night out to be naughty. So we returned to the adult bar for awhile and enjoyed our music before returning to the dance floor later, hoping the music had changed. Nope, still hip hop, and the club was so packed you couldn’t even walk in it. We decided we were done for the night, it was too much for us. On our way out we ran back into the guy we met earlier, we lost in the crowd of humping 18 year olds. We decided to exchange info so we could possibly meet up another day, the more the merrier as far as we are concerned. We’ve lost a lot of our dancing buddies over the past year or two, so it is time for us to make new friends. We told him we would most likely be back on adults only night.

Afterwards we grabbed some yummy greasy pizza and headed out our separate ways. I took the subway home and had just enough power in my phone to call a cab and get me home around 2:30am. Not too bad.

Dustin